


Day By Day With You By My Side

by i_amthecosmos



Series: NOLA [3]
Category: Cassidy Haley (Musician), Glam Rock RPF, Tommy Ratliff (Musician)
Genre: M/M, New Orleans au, Poverty, Sex Work, Struggling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-04
Updated: 2017-09-04
Packaged: 2018-12-23 18:07:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11995158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/i_amthecosmos/pseuds/i_amthecosmos
Summary: Tommy has a panic attack and Cassidy takes him home.





	Day By Day With You By My Side

**Author's Note:**

> The last one of the NOLA verse, and the one with the worst title. But I still like it, so here it is.

Tommy was nearly finished with the set, staring at the complacent crowd of tourists sitting through it like it was a boring TV program, when he felt the first tingles in his hands. _Oh fuck_ , he thought as he fought to keep the trembles down. _Just one more song, let me get through one more song._ He put on his best poker face and kept playing as the panic surged through his body and lodged in his throat. Soon the set was over but the feelings weren’t. _I bet he’s back, his mind chattered. That motherfucker who cut you, he’s going to come back and do it again someday._ He tried to calm down, remind himself that the guy would probably never bother him again, but it made no difference.

When Jackson, the drummer for their little act came up, Tommy could see the recognition in his face. “Goddamn man, again?” Tommy nodded and let the shaking take over. “Fuck it, I thought you got yourself a fancy apartment. Ain’t things better now?”

“Doesn’t seem to matter,” Tommy choked out. “Now I gotta walk down to get Cassidy, and I’m scared. Fuck.” That wasn’t even irrational-someone had jumped him before. Jackson just shook his head, sorry for him but he only offered Tommy a beer. Tommy didn’t mind-Jackson was a good guy, but he also knew that he didn’t want to walk to the gay part of town with Tommy. He didn’t mind working with him, and he’d met Cassidy once, but being seen over there was too much for him. So Tommy didn’t ask him to. He shook his head at the PBR and Jackson just shrugged and drank it himself.

Walking the few blocks over to the cabaret seemed to take an hour. Walking through the doors and seeing all the creepy ass customers didn’t help-he started to look for Cassidy, hoping he was okay, that nobody in this club had done anything to him…

“Hey,” he said, when he saw Cass tipping out the DJ. “Can we go?” He just wanted to get the hell home, to their new place that was too far to walk to. Which was great, it was fine, he didn’t want to walk anymore, he just wanted to go…

“Hey baby-oh no,” Cassidy looked down at how Tommy’s hands were in fists, how stiff his body was and how tight he was holding his guitar case, and said “Wait one second while I tip out Jessica.” Jessica was a sexy-ass trans girl who bartended and also danced at a club down the street. Tommy concentrated on trying to breathe as he waited. Cassidy was back in a minute. “Let’s go.” They jumped into a waiting cab outside the club, and Cassidy put a careful hand on his shoulder as he gave the driver directions to their place. 

“You’re not going by the bank first?” Normally Cassidy deposited his tips at the 24 hour bank as soon as he got out of there. He didn’t want to be mugged for all the cash on him. Cassidy shook his head, stroking his arm. Tommy caught the look of disgust from the cabbie and wanted to shake him off. _What if that guy hurts us, what if he comes back here and kicks my ass, what if he robs Cassidy…_ He couldn’t make the thoughts stop. 

They got to their apartment soon. It was in a semi-safe neighborhood and it was quiet, the opposite of the Hotel Glorious. Cassidy paid the driver as Tommy ran up the stairs to their place, fumbling with the key as he tried to get in where it was safe. Cassidy was behind him the minute he got the door open and held him as soon as it was closed behind them. “I’ve got you baby, I’ve got you.”

“I was playing,” Tommy said. “And I thought about that guy who cut me, and I thought maybe he was back…” Tommy buried his face in Cassidy’s neck. “Can we go to bed?” He just had to lie down-the shakes were bad now and it was so tiring, having to go through this. “I just want to lie down. Don’t leave me,” he said as Cassidy started to pull away. He held on, not wanting to lose the closeness.

“Honey, I’m not going to leave you. I’m just going to get some water and one of your pills. That’s all. Go lie down baby, I’ll be right there.” Tommy let go, and he felt his throat try to close up. He couldn’t take a pill, not like this.  
He had just taken his shoes off and was on the bed when Cassidy came back. “Just breathe through your nose,” he said, “and I know you can take this. It’s small.” Tommy sat up and did what Cassidy told him to do, the Ativan sliding down his throat. Then he curled into a ball. “It’s all right baby, it’s going to start working in a few minutes. It’s okay.” Tommy had to wait a few horrible minutes before Cassidy stripped and was lying next to him. “I’m here now. I’m so sorry this happens to you.”

“I know,” Tommy said. “I can’t make it stop.” He knew that maybe that wasn’t true, maybe he could do better, stop drinking, get more sleep. But he worked so much and he didn’t have any money to see a shrink. “I wish I could get help.”

“I wish you could too,” Cassidy said, kissing his neck. “I love you. Do you want me to talk to you?” Tommy nodded, and Cassidy began to just tell him whatever came to his mind, the soft words building a cocoon around Tommy and calming him down. Soon Cassidy was singing to him, bits and pieces of whatever songs he could think of. Tommy felt himself relax as the Ativan took effect, and soon he was pliant and calm as Cassidy helped take his clothes off and pull him in his arms. “Can you sleep now, baby?”

“I don’t know why I still have these,” Tommy said. “We’re doing so much better.” It was true and not at the same time-Tommy was working his better paying art gallery job, but it was still hard to pay rent and Cassidy was taking more shifts at the strip club, working an extra day every other week. “But I still-I guess I’ll never get over it.”

“It’s hard,” Cassidy said. “But you’re so strong, you just keep going even though it hurts. I wish I could make it stop. I only want to take care of you.” Cassidy was quiet for a minute, and then he said “I made a lot tonight.” Tommy kissed Cassidy before he asked him what he had to do for it.

“Yeah? Were you in the back room?” 

“Yeah, I got shaved onstage and then me and Daniel were in the shower together for an hour. We got a ton of tips.” The bar had a shower stall just big enough for two guys to hump each other in, and it was a big attraction. Tommy hugged him and laughed a little. 

“Daniel’s an asshole. Too bad you weren’t in there with Terrance.” Terrance and Cassidy would whisper jokes to each other and cut up where the customers couldn’t notice while they were putting on a show. It made it easier for both of them. Cassidy laughed, but it was a little shaky. Tommy kissed him again. “I’m sorry. I know you hate that job. I should be taking care of you.” Cassidy smiled at him, and Tommy could see the love in his eyes. 

“We take care of each other. And you do. Just seeing you when I get out of there makes it better.” Cassidy kissed him again. “I just wish…”

“It’s okay,” Tommy said, feeling sleepy. “It’s okay now, I love you.” And then he fell asleep, tucked around Cassidy and feeling safe in their cocoon.


End file.
